Well Greetings! :)
I feel like so much has happened since the last time I emailed! This has been a great week of learning and fun!
Monday all 10 of us missionaries got to do some service by helping a young family in our ward load up their moving truck. It felt great to be able to help someone else out in a way that we don't usually get to! And to be able to do some physical labor with it!
The beginning of this last week I felt a lot of weight on my shoulders. I got really weighed down because my goal for this transfer is mostly just to work on time management/planning. It is hard. Especially when you are trying to help a new missionary and know that every move you make they are watching and learning from. I want so much to be a good example and yet I was feeling that I was failing a lot. I learned some lessons with that this week. :)
The first lesson is to trust the promptings we receive and act on them immediately. I had been prompted the whole weekend to call a certain brother in our ward to come with us to a lesson with an investigator, and put it off because I was nervous about if the two would collide in personality, and if the brother would even be available. I finally just did it the morning of our appointment. He said, "well my wife is at the doctors right now, but if you say that you felt strongly to call me then I should be able to come." Wow. My heart was softened. He told me he would call me back if his wife got done in time for him to make it. He called me an hour and a half before the appointment and said, "Where do I meet you?" It was miraculous that he was able to come, because usually his wife would be in the doctors until about 6 in the evening and she was done around 12:30. I was so grateful and felt so blessed. I had great hopes that this would be the powerful lesson we needed to get this investigator really moving. When we knocked on the door no one answered. My heart started to hurt. I tried calling him and didn't get an answer either. He wasn't home. I didn't know what to do. This brother lovingly teased me about making him get all dressed up for nothing and then asked, "Why did the Lord prompt you to call me this morning if he knew no one would be here?" I admitted that I really didn't know and was trying to figure that out. He said, "I know." I waited to hear his words, hoping for some comfort for my aching heart. He said, "The Lord is trying to see who will do what He asks." I thought about that, and it did calm my heart a bit. I don't know the full reason for why I felt so impressed to call that brother when our investigator wasn't there that day, but I do know that I followed the promptings of the spirit. We were meant to be together at that time for a reason, even if the reason was only for me - that I might soften my heart and be more open to listening to the spirit and following his guidance.
The rest of the week I needed that guidance of the spirit, as well as the support from my loving Heavenly Father. I know that He was supporting me this week because of the little things that happened through other people. Sister Sellers and Sister Barrow helped calm me down when I got stressed with changes that were being made to our schedule last minute, Sister Sellers gave me a couple of talks to read that really helped me out, my family sent me an out of the blue (and inspired) "little love from home" box, the sister training leaders sent us an uplifting quote, and Sister Boehula has been a lovingly honest support to me. Other things like rides from willing members, relating to a member who loves art and graphic design and does it for work, being able to see improvement in the goals I have, the sun shining every day, being able to sing hymns for an assisted living center, and a man offering to have us stand on his porch while it was raining one afternoon that we were tracting and then being able to talk with him about the gospel.
My skin has toughened this last week as I've noticed myself decide to change from receiving chastisement from the Lord, instead of shrinking and wanting to hide. This may come as a shock to those of you who knew me when I was younger, but I noticed that I was becoming too bold with some of my investigators. I realized that I was lacking the gentleness that I once had. Sister Boehula lovingly agreed that she was surprised by how bold I was. Sister Sellers gave me a talk by Elder Maxwell called Meekness - A Dimension of True Discipleship. As I read that I knew that I needed to change. I honestly felt like I missed being how I was. I realized that I had learned how to have confidence and have overcome a LOT of fear, but now it is time to mix that fearlessness and confidence with meekness. Meek, defined by Elder Maxwell in his talk, is gentle and humble. As we are meek with our boldness we will know when to speak and when to be silent; silence can be just as bold as words. We will also be better listeners and more often be able to share our message with fewer words.
Elder Maxwell said, "We often see in our unnecessary multiplication of words not only a lack of clarity, but much vanity. Our verbosity is sometimes a cover for insincerity or uncertainty, whereas the subtraction of self reduces the unnecessary multiplication of words. Meekness, however, is more than self-restraint; it is the presentation of self in a posture of kindness and gentleness, reflecting certitude, strength, serenity, and a healthy self-esteem and self-control. Without meekness, the conversational points we insist on making often take the form of “I”—that spearlike, vertical pronoun." He goes on, "If all our anxiety amounts to is our so-called image, it’s an image that needs to be displaced anyway, so that we can receive His image in our countenances."
When we speak boldly with meekness, we will speak with love for them and our Savior, and our words will direct them to Him and His gospel. Our words will not put up our image, but help them to see the image of Christ in our countenance.
I know that this gospel is true. I know that as we are humble enough to receive the correction of the Lord and those that love us, that we will become better and happier. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is meek with me. All of His correction is always out of love and care for me. I know our Savior lives and hope that He will be more noticed in each of your lives as you look to Him and for Him.
I love you all!
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